With spray tan remnants making me look like I suffer from Michael Jackson’s skin condition, Vitiligo. Its time to scrub and dub dub it all off.

After my last public scrubbing at a Korean spa, an upgrade to a more private treatment option was needed. I notice this new(ish) Spa spot near the Minx In The City World Headquarters ( my apartment ). El Leon, guessing that means Lion ? It looks nicey, nice. Sign me up.

I book the Turkish Bath and Scrub, and a signature treatment called “Facelift” that makes time rewinding promises,  (hopefully, I thought, my I.D will be checked if I buy a bottle of wine on the way home….. )

I arrive, told to undress, put a robe on, with straw like slippers. The are made for basketball players feet, not Minx’s tiny size 6′s.

Then I am led, shuffling in my size 10 straw slippers, to a like a to a room that reminded me of a MORGUE !

Wheres my “Turkish bath” then ? Then I notice the old metal style bathtub in the corner. I am hoping its not full of embalming fluid. I am left in the room to sit in the bath. I just could not relax. I’m naked, and every time I hear someone walk by, I think they are going to burst in, and see me sitting in my Birthday suit. Contorting myself to cover my girlie bits and pieces.

Not even foam bath bubbles to use as pasties. Yippers

The scrubber arrives, and it time to get on that embalming table. A wash cloth is placed over my butt, then over my eyes.

That’s the part I don’t like, why do you have to blind fold me ? What’s with the blindfold ? This is not put the Tail on the Donkey game, is it ?

I start to imagine things. Did they blindfold me to steal my locker key, and raid my purse, or take photos of me spread eagle ?

The scrub was okay. Don’t want to sound like a “Goldie Scrub”, but it could of been harder, and longer.

My alone time in the bath, alas, was part of the treatment time. Time wasters !

I am ready for my  Facelift treatment, stat. Wheres the Anesthesiologist ?

Start the I.V, and give me the happy medicine please !

I am led to a typical Thai massage cabana type deal.

Alas, no  fancy equipments, or miricle creams. Greasy massage oil is smeared on my face. I try to explain that will clog my pores etc  All my Facelift Mastersaysis “yes”.  I soon realize that she barely speaks a word of English. The Facelift was nothing more than a lame face massage.

I left looking worried, with a face that the following week broke out in acne. So I guess the Facelift does make you younger…….like a pimple faced teenager.

Me No likey.